You Know You Live With Children When….

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Kid's bike

I Instagrammed this picture and captioned it – “#YouKnowYouLiveWithChildrenWhen a bike is parked in the doorway to your kitchen, and you walk around it rather than move it.”

My toddler had parked his bike rather inconveniently and after I walked around it for the umpteenth time, wondered why I didn’t just move it out of the way. It was almost like I’d tuned its presence out!

Naturally, I thought it would make for a hilarious blog post with all the instances of when you know you live with children, so I turned to my Facebook page and asked parents to share their #YouKnowYouLiveWithChildren moments. And I was not wrong. Read on and try not to spit your coffee out.

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You turn on the TV long after they have gone to sleep and one of their shows is playing and you actually let it for a while before realizing you aren’t the Thomas the Train fan in the family.

~ Tonya, Letters for Lucas

1. I have experienced the agony of stepping on Lego in the dark. 2. There are short people walking around in my house wearing very odd assortments of clothing (like swimming trunks, rain boots and a Vampire cape). 3. I know the names of all the Disney Cars characters and regard them as old friends rather than fictional beings.

~ Kirsten, Running For Autism

I take baths with boats, rubber duckies and water guns.

~ Grace, Gabbing with Grace  

I don’t realize until I am in line at the grocery store that I’m wearing a sparkly, plastic fairy bracelet – after the cashier points out how nicely it matches the four fairy stickers on my shirt.

~ Tracie, From Tracie 

When you lose 1/3 of your kitchen counter space due to bottle drying racks and a medicine station.

~ Cassie, Foto Friendly Family 

LEGO. That is all. :) ~

~Karyn, Kloppenmum 

There’s always a single child’s sock on the floor somewhere in my house. Often more than one. And if there is more than one, then they probably aren’t from the same pair.

~ The Koala Bear Writer

When toys are scattered everywhere. When there is a pair of the shoes that you have been looking for a while and they’re under a chair or the sofa (couch).

~ Ma Teresa Grech Racal, Multitasking Mother & Wife  

Baby gates. Blocks everywhere. Writing on the walls, and I mean literally.

 ~Katie, Your Girls and Boys 

1. When you find every corner of your living room has a bunch of poorly written As on the wall in green crayon and at first glance you’re proud of it, then realize it’s on your BLOODY WALL. IN GREEN CRAYON. 2. When you reach into the cabinet under the bathroom sink for a tampon and find a truck that plays music, has your last tampon, unwrapped, sticking out of its windows. 3. When you reach in your dresser for clean undies and find a row of baby dolls sleeping comfortably on them, tucked in and covered with them. 4. When the songs that get stuck in your head are no longer rock from the 80s, but theme songs from Thomas and Bubble Guppies instead. 5. When you find you’re singing every thing you say.

~ Vanita, After Bedtime Blog 

1. There are legos in *every* nook and cranny of floor space and furniture. 2. The entire house is never clean all at once.

~ Jessica, Close Enough

1. When your wine rack has turned into a storage shelf for your kids’ puzzles, lunch bags, markers and other assorted arts and crafts crap; and 2. When you consider the artwork that your kids bring home from school legitimate decoration for the house.

~ Christine, Love, Life, Surf 

When their bedroom and bathroom doors stayed closed all day while they are at school. Then I don’t have to look at the disaster the tornados made!! When you walk into our home and see huge piles of laundry begging to be folded. I guess A messy house in general, because they won’t do their chores on time!

~ Wanda, Recreate and Decorate

Thank you all for your so very funny (and true) #YouKnowYouLiveWithChildren moments!

What are your #YouKnowYouLiveWithChildren moments?

Link up with Memories Captured here from September 10 – 14 (linky closes at 9pm Eastern) and one lucky linker will win $50 worth of jewelry from Dawn Butler Jewelry – gorgeous, yes? Join Galit and I now! Winner will be chosen via random.org.

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How To Go Viral

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Want to be Internet famous?

Want to be talked about by people on Twitter?

Want to have your stuff shared on Facebook?

Want to have so much traffic to your blog/ website that it crashes?

Want to generate so many comments, you give up trying to read them all?

Easy. Just do one or all of the following.

1. Write about *breastfeeding versus formula feeding. Don’t worry about writing intelligently, or with facts to back up your statements. Bonus: write like you’re a cold-hearted, snobbish bitch.

Breastfeeding versus formula feeding? Meh. That's so 2011.

2. Write about leaving your newborn behind so you can *go swan around in Mexico. Bonus: write like you are a cold-hearted, snobbish bitch.

3. Write any drivel to fuel the so-called Mommy Wars. Take your pick – sleep training, attachment parenting, blah blah blah.

4. Post a video of your child doing something stupid/ shocking. The more it shows off your terrible parenting skills, the better.

5. Criticize someone else’s parenting decisions. Don’t back up your blanket statements with facts. Or do, by referencing some vague study and interpret the results any way you see fit and be blatantly wrong anyway.

OR. You could do these things instead.

1. Be super duper awesome with a great sense of humor and disarming honesty, and always write like YOU.

2. Have really mad drawing skills and the ability to tell a good story.

3. Write any post about blogging and how to make money from it.

4. Write any post about blogging about how to improve your blog, or ask why people don’t comment anymore, or about how blogging has saved your life.

5. Write a post list of ‘How To <fill in blank>.

Voila!

Thank me later.

(This post was partly inspired by a tweet by Julie (@TheMamaMash) and the conversation that followed it.

Julie tweeted: I’m all for being realistic about parenting, but it seems like some blogs are getting dangerously close to glorifying truly shitty parents.” (yeah I couldn’t figure out how to cut and paste the actual tweet, stupid Mac).

* I appreciate the irony of giving you links to such drivel, to drive even more traffic to what I consider to be badly written, terribly judgmental posts. But, you’ll ask anyway, so this saves me emailing it to you later. I’m all about efficiency. Also? Read the comments on the posts. They’re BETTER than the original post.

** Before I get angry comments, note that this post was written with a heavy dose of sarcasm.

 Any more tips on how to get your blog to go viral?

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Best Photo Bomb Ever By A Toddler

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This picture of my sister with my kids made me laugh.

It didn’t happen on a Thursday, but it’s my One Good Thing Thursday, as I hope it makes YOU laugh, and your Thursday, a little better.

Aren’t you glad this is a short post and now you can go off with a smile on your face to read the many blogs you subscribe to?

Happy Thursday!

Linking with Sarah’s adorable One Good Thing Thursday weekly linky.
Little White Whale

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