Digging Deep

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Screaming.

Two hours.

In. My. Ear.

Inconsolable, my teething baby.

(Yes, I’ve ordered him an amber teething necklace. From Australia. There is none here!)

It was 1.30 in the morning before he finally fell asleep, exhausted, on my chest.

I don’t remember what time I slept.

I do remember getting up at 6 o’clock.

Digging deep.

Giving my full attention to my children.

The ones I wanted with all my heart.

And still want, of course.

I love my children.

(Did I even have to say that? Yes, I do.)

Toys thrown on the floor, crumbs everywhere, people to be fed.

Do, do, do.

The small people, refusing a nap.

Can Mama have a nap?

No.

On my feet all day.

Digging deep.

Because if I don’t, I may just be in a heap on the floor.

4.30 pm.

Number dialed.

“Hi Mummy. Happy Birthday! Sorry I took so long to call, this is the first time since 6.30 that I’ve sat down.”

Oops.

Post ideas in my head, swirling.

Needing to be out. To be written down.

My tea is getting cold. Fuck.

(Again with the F word. Sorry about that.)

Digging deep.

Just Write with Heather of The Extraordinary Ordinary. 

Ever have days where they all just blend into one long day, and they just kick. your. ass? 

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  1. Leave a Reply to Mothering From Scratch Cancel reply

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  2. Tracie
    Twitter: fromtracie
    says:

    It is hard this mother thing. There are rewards, and good stuff, and all that…….but sometimes you just need to be able to acknowledge the hard.

    I’m sorry the hard hit you today. Hoping for a better tomorrow (and maybe even a nap!)
    Tracie ‘s last awesome post..Hope Fills My LifeMy Profile

  3. Chaunie@TInyBlueLines
    Twitter: tinybluelines
    says:

    Um, yes? Like every day for the past three months since my third child was born? I can’t remember most of the last four years of my life!
    Chaunie@TInyBlueLines ‘s last awesome post..How Much Do You and Your Husband Have in Common?My Profile

  4. Susi says:

    Hope you get that amber necklace soon and that it helps your poor guy. Keeping a teething baby happy and the household running can be very tough. Hang in there. xxx
    Susi ‘s last awesome post..It’s October, it’s FallMy Profile

  5. Melanie
    Twitter: HelloMelanieC
    says:

    Today I got bit by my (normally very sweet) daughter like she was a rabid dog. To my credit, I did not toss her off the balcony. Digging deep, indeed.
    Melanie ‘s last awesome post..Dear Dentist, Please Don’t Let Me DieMy Profile

  6. Julie says:

    Yup, that’s motherhood. Perfect post form for that too. It’s a total gut check. :)
    Julie ‘s last awesome post..Well, $^!+. #iPPPMy Profile

  7. Mama Pants
    Twitter: Thefamilypants
    says:

    Oh yeah. And also yes. This mama gig isn’t for the weak.
    Mama Pants ‘s last awesome post..Sunday’s PearlMy Profile

  8. Alma says:

    sending you a virtual ((hug))
    Up for a laugh… I took a shower in the middle of the day, try to look good so I can feel good.
    My 4 year old girl looks up and says..”where are we going? I wanna go too.”
    I said ,” I just wanna shower in the middle of the afternoon.” Then I realize I live in sweats of jeans all day with her. She said “oh, that’s too bad”.
    I hope you get a moment to feel better and some shut eye.
    Alma ‘s last awesome post..All That GlittersMy Profile

  9. tracy@sellabitmum says:

    I wish I could come warm your tea. xo
    tracy@sellabitmum ‘s last awesome post..Trains, Trains and More Trains – and a GiveawayMy Profile

  10. angela says:

    Hugs. It will get better. It will. (Though I know this day, and so many days like it, where I heat up my coffee so many times it’s not even good anymore. And then I drink it anyway.)
    angela ‘s last awesome post..Letting Them ChooseMy Profile

  11. Kimberly says:

    Every. Single. Day.
    I need more cupcakes.
    Kimberly ‘s last awesome post..I AmMy Profile

  12. Leslie says:

    Oh, mama. We’ve all been there. It’s become a joke around our house that 5 to 8 pm is L’s ‘witching hours’. Nothing will console her then. I hope that your little one feels better soon and that the teething necklace works for him! In the meantime, get as much caffeine as you’re allowed! (I know it’s not nearly enough)
    Leslie ‘s last awesome post..Three MonthsMy Profile

  13. Elaine A. says:

    Let it out girl.

    This post makes me think that I have NO IDEA how our mothers did it without the internet to vent.

    Hope today is better and that you get some rest.

    xoxoxo
    Elaine A. ‘s last awesome post..Starbucks RunMy Profile

  14. Christine @ Love, Life, Surf says:

    Yes – all.the.time. I’m so sorry that it’s been rough. You are doing an amazing job with those two incredibly cute and amazing boys of yours. Just breathe.
    Christine @ Love, Life, Surf ‘s last awesome post..Are you strong?My Profile

  15. Amanda Jillian
    Twitter: faeriebarista
    says:

    The necklace is a god sent, Ariel screamed when I took her’s off just to show it to my cousin so they could order their daughter one.
    Amanda Jillian ‘s last awesome post..The magic momentMy Profile

  16. Sue says:

    Oh, hug. xo
    Sue ‘s last awesome post..GoodbyesMy Profile

  17. Ben
    Twitter: cobypic
    says:

    Here’s to hoping tomorrow is better, and if not maybe give yourself a break from the home made baking and grab some frozen premade baking treats :)
    Ben ‘s last awesome post..Cobypic is…My Profile

  18. Maureen
    Twitter: tatterscoops
    says:

    Oh Mama, teething is always hard *I remember those nights* Hope you will get some nap soon.
    Maureen ‘s last awesome post..Chalean Extreme – Push Phase ResultsMy Profile

  19. Barbara says:

    I’ve had too many of those days lately. Hugs! I’m right there with you.
    Barbara ‘s last awesome post..What about dinner?My Profile

  20. Kim@Co-Pilot Mom
    Twitter: copilotmom
    says:

    Days that blend into one long day? I’ve seen those, too. Wishing you hot tea and more rest and also some relief from that teething pain for your little guy.
    Kim@Co-Pilot Mom ‘s last awesome post..Picasso Strikes AgainMy Profile

  21. Vanita says:

    seems you had my yesterday. and you’ve just inspired me to write about it.
    Vanita ‘s last awesome post..Linkedin You Dirty ScoundrelMy Profile

  22. Maggie S.
    Twitter: AccidentalDesig
    says:

    Yeah. Some days, if there were no eff word, Mommy’s head would explode. Then who would clean up the mess. No one. They don’t know which cleaner to use or where to find a rag.
    Maggie S. ‘s last awesome post..Sitting Around Here On SundayMy Profile

  23. Laura | Mommy Miracles
    Twitter: LauraORourke
    says:

    What have you been doing spying on my life and then writing about it?
    Yeah. I get it.
    Laura | Mommy Miracles ‘s last awesome post..Least FavouriteMy Profile

  24. sarah @sundayspill says:

    I hope your lil guy likes the amber. I seems to work well for Oscar. Screaming babies are so pitiful, no fun for anyone :(
    sarah @sundayspill ‘s last awesome post..the sunday spill–about shifting and sucking up the bunniesMy Profile

  25. Mirjam says:

    Teething. Is. Brutal.
    That’s all. xoxo
    Mirjam ‘s last awesome post..Sunday GatheringsMy Profile

  26. KalleyC
    Twitter: KalleyC
    says:

    Oh, hell yes! I would think at this stage in my home that I wouldn’t have to go through night time wake up. But with potty training, I’m awake from 1am to 4 or 5 am trying to get my girl go back to sleep, so that she can wake up 2 hours later. Guess I should be thankful she’s using the potty at night.

    Days like this I would LOVE to to just sit down and be a blob on the couch, but as you know…duty calls. Hope your necklace gets here soon.
    KalleyC ‘s last awesome post..Newborn Shopping–Starting All Over AgainMy Profile

  27. melinda says:

    we all have “those” days and the moms that portray a perfect world with perfect children and a perfect job and perfect friends are full of shit. motherhood is hard work whatever stage you’re at.
    melinda ‘s last awesome post..I Think She Eats ThemMy Profile

  28. AnnMarie says:

    Too many days to count, my friend…too many days. I hope those teeth come in soon so that you guys can all get some sleep.
    AnnMarie ‘s last awesome post..It’s Working!My Profile

  29. Kristen says:

    My husband travels a lot and there are some days where I call him at the end of the day and just say, “I’m done.” Granted, I never am truly done…we moms always dig a bit deeper to make it all work but it feels good to say it sometimes. Just to let it out is a huge load off for me.
    You are never alone in this…if you are getting your bum kicked, read back through these comments and know that we are all cheering you on!
    Kristen ‘s last awesome post..Dinner Battle With A Picky TweenMy Profile

  30. Kimberly says:

    Yes. Yes. Yes. Even when we are worn to the bone we have to dig deeper. Those babes need us and if that means putting them first, over fucking tea that is always cold, then we do it.
    Just remember to have a breather…and a pee xoxo
    Kimberly ‘s last awesome post..When Words FailMy Profile

  31. Courtney Kirkland
    Twitter: CourtneyKirklnd
    says:

    I know that feeling…the whole drop in the chair and then realize what a gigantic mistake you just made? I do that at least once a day. LOL Teething might be as bad as the newborn phase. Hope it passes for you guys quickly!!
    Courtney Kirkland ‘s last awesome post..My Favorite MomentsMy Profile

  32. Charlotte says:

    Uhm, yes I do have days like this. I just wrote a post about it, actually. I think the work of a mother is never fully appreciated. You do so much, momma. Please try to get some sleep when you can, k? I worry about you! XOXO
    Charlotte ‘s last awesome post..Groundhog Day in OctoberMy Profile

  33. Runnermom-jen says:

    ((hugs))
    xo
    Runnermom-jen ‘s last awesome post..Through the LensMy Profile

  34. thedoseofreality
    Twitter: ashleytaylor76
    says:

    Oh my yes. And they are just the hardest days. You captured it perfectly here, by the way. Because honestly, it is exhausting to be exhausted. Hang in there!-Ashley
    thedoseofreality ‘s last awesome post..A Picture Is Worth a Thousand WordsMy Profile

    • Alison says:

      Yes, yes it is. Exhausting to be this exhausted. The other day when I had barely any sleep, my husband asked me if I felt tired. I told him, I’m not sure, because I’ve felt this way for 3 years so it’s my normal. Tired is my normal. At least, I think so. :)

  35. Jessica says:

    You are tremendous. What you are doing is tremendous. The work of the world is on your shoulders, you are holding up the future on those blades, with your muscles. This too shall pass, let go what you can. Sending hugs from the middle of nowhere…
    Jessica ‘s last awesome post..Instant! Gram!My Profile

  36. Kate F. says:

    Oh. My. Gosh. Have I EVER had days like those :) Keep on digging. Eventually you dig yourself out… right???
    Kate F. ‘s last awesome post..Love, Appreciation & the Death of a Hair DryerMy Profile

  37. Tina @ Life Without Pink says:

    Um that seems like every day to me :)
    Tina @ Life Without Pink ‘s last awesome post..Wordless Wednesday: Why I Love FallMy Profile

  38. Stasha says:

    Loads of those days. Complete with f words… But all it takes is one smile to make it all better. Or a tub of Ben and jerry’s …
    Stasha ‘s last awesome post..Wordless WednesdayMy Profile

  39. Ruth says:

    It’s one of those days I guess. And teething is a phase, it will pass. And then, there will be something else. But no matter how bad it may feel at the moment, someday we will look back and smile at all these experiences that makes motherhood such an amazing journey.
    Ruth ‘s last awesome post..Toilet Training – A SurpriseMy Profile

  40. karen
    Twitter: mrs_KarenC
    says:

    ((((HUGS))) those days are just NOT fun. hope today is a better day babe.
    karen ‘s last awesome post..Secret Subject SwapMy Profile

  41. Natalie says:

    Yes, yes as a matter of fact I sure have :) You can do it girl…you are good at digging deep!
    Natalie ‘s last awesome post..Busy As a BeeMy Profile

  42. Julia
    Twitter: juliahembree
    says:

    Yes, this, absolutely. I feel better now since I only have my son and he just turned 3, but there are about 2 years of my life that are all in a barely memorable fog.
    Thank goodness these kiddos are cute.
    Julia ‘s last awesome post..Heavy GreyMy Profile

  43. Kristin @ What She Said says:

    “Ever have days where they just blend into one long day and just kick your ass?”

    Yes. OMG, yes. This week, in fact. And last week, too. Oh, hell… this whole damn month.

    Hang in there, Alison.
    Kristin @ What She Said ‘s last awesome post..Game Day in the Age of Social MediaMy Profile

  44. Andrea
    Twitter: boymomblog
    says:

    Hello! Great post! I have to dig deep on another level now that my boys are up and running (literally) but they don’t listen when they are entangled in a disagreement – so annoying! I’ve never yelled the word SSTTOOPPP this much in my life!!!
    Andrea ‘s last awesome post..5 Reasons Your Kindergartner Had a Bad DayMy Profile

  45. Robbie
    Twitter: momma23monkeys
    says:

    teething is difficult add in 2 needy kids and one tired momma and it’s a recipe for a crappy day. Hop ethe rest of the week is better.
    Robbie ‘s last awesome post..CelebrateMy Profile

  46. Kate
    Twitter: mommymonologues
    says:

    THIS IS HOW I”VE FELT ALL WEEK!

    I’ve got a teething baby, a sick 3 year old, & more things to do this weekend than I could possibly count on both hands!

    Great post!
    Kate ‘s last awesome post..Is staying home the right choice?My Profile

  47. Jessica says:

    Such is the life of a mom. I hope the teething pains get better soon.
    Jessica ‘s last awesome post..Essence of Now: SurprisesMy Profile

  48. Robin | Farewell, Stranger says:

    Oy. Yes. And you wonder how you’ll get through, but you do. Hang in there.
    Robin | Farewell, Stranger ‘s last awesome post..It MattersMy Profile

  49. Mothering From Scratch says:

    {Melinda} Yes, motherhood does require a whole lot of digging deep, doesn’t it? I wish I could tell you it gets loads better — and during certain seasons of parenting it does. However, I think I was digging a hole the depth of the Grand Canyon during the middle school years. Yikes! High school years are better, though!
    Mothering From Scratch ‘s last awesome post..five excuses we use to stay isolatedMy Profile

  50. Elena says:

    Answer to your question – YES! So many of them. Those days are killer. Makes the smooth days seem just that much more precious.
    Elena ‘s last awesome post..First World Problems of the Reality KindMy Profile

  51. Katie
    Twitter: ksluiter
    says:

    ALL. THE. TIME.

    Which is why I have been a lousy commenter. But I have always been here. Reading all the words.

    Between all the other things in this life of momming and teaching.
    Katie ‘s last awesome post..Project 365 {week 40}My Profile

    • Alison says:

      Thank you for taking time to even write this, because I know how stretched you are, and how much you have going on.

      Hang on in there, my friend.

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