Second Child |

One On One

August 29, 2012 By Alison

The baby and I have been spending a lot of one-on-one time together.

The toddler has been staying with his grandparents for over a week now (that’s a blog post on its own – suffice to say, he is there on his own accord and they love having him there).

I feel a little guilty for having it so easy. Like it should be hard. Like I should be juggling two kids.

But it is what it is. As long as both children are healthy and happy right?

So this is what one-on-one time has been like with the small one (who hasn’t enjoyed this level of attention since he was born).

There has been play.

There was some finger chomping.

And, more chomping.

There was a lot of rolling from back to front.

There were a lot of just hanging out, taking pictures.

And we did go hang out with the big boy.

A lot of one-on-one. For that, I am grateful.

All photos were taken with my phone, from my Instagr.am feed (are you following me there?), hence linking up with Julie and Greta for #IPPP!

Filed Under: IPPP, Motherhood, Scrumplet, Second Child

There Is Light

May 29, 2012 By Alison

Three weeks, since he came and we became Four.

He adds to the bright light that is our life.

But….

My initial holding-it-togetherness has been fraying slowly over the past week.

My home has become a battleground between Getting Sleep, Toddler Acting Out-ness, Baby Needs and My Sanity.

There has been tears, laughs, an air of resignedness, a pinch of hope and a smidgen of hilarity.

This, my Joy, has now become my Heartache.

My understanding of Twoness is limited. I know not how his heart and mind works anymore.

His love for his brother, evident. Yet, in his acting-outness, his hand which moments ago was gently stroking a baby hand, is now heading for the baby’s head.

His usual exuberance and cheerfulness, seemingly amplified to become noise, shouting, foot stomping, hands too quick to hit.

The tender moments are there, but lost in the sea of my quick-to-anger-sleep-deprived-brain.

My Mother Guilt swallows me whole in the quiet of the night, when the two pieces of my heart are sleeping in their beds.

There is the darkness, when my being wants to huddle in a small space and stay there.

Is this when people start to lose their minds, my 5.00 am brain wonders?

Then 7.00 am rolls along and this:

There is light.

read to be read at yeahwrite.me

Filed Under: Monkey My Son, Motherhood, Scrumplet, Second Child, Toddler

The Race

May 10, 2012 By Alison

Male readers (all two of you), you may want to skip this post. It involves lady parts. There, you’ve been warned.

This second pregnancy has felt like a marathon.

9 laborious months, where I ran at a steady pace for 8 months, hitting my stride with each trimester.

The last 4 weeks was like when I hit the wall, where each step felt heavy, and I just wanted to see the finish line.

The end was like a sudden burst of energy came to my body and it was a sprint to the end.

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“Ready, get set, GO!”

Except I didn’t.

Over an hour after the first contractions started at 3.06 am on the morning of May 8, I was on Twitter, telling my friends that my contractions were now five minutes apart, and I was calmly eating breakfast.

After I had taken a hot shower, washed my face and brushed my teeth.

The husband was informed at 4.00 am that he should get ready. We discussed when we should wake the toddler to take him over to his grandparents, who are a few minutes walk away. We agreed that it was a good time, as we would not be caught in day time traffic.

At 5.00 am, I suggested strongly to him that we should call his parents, move the bags to the car and wake the toddler.

At 5.25 am, while waiting for him to return after dropping the Monkey off, I was on the floor and moaning.

I could feel the baby’s head pushing through.

Squealing tires, burning rubber and 20 minutes later, I barely walked into the Emergency room at our chosen hospital, gasped out my name, my doctor’s name and endured questions as to my due date, how far apart are the contractions and so on.

You know those movies where the pregnant woman is moaning and being rushed in a wheelchair to the delivery room?

Yeah, that was me.

Clothes off, gown on, more questions, needles being jammed into my hands, more moaning and more, “I have to push!” and “Breathe, breathe, don’t push yet!”

When my doctor walked in, I was never more relieved to see a human being.

More things happened. Legs up.

“Okay Alison, push.”

I screamed and pushed.

“His head is out!”

I pushed again and screamed. It was…..primal.

And out came my second son.

It was over, 30 minutes after we arrived at the hospital.

My son was finally in my arms.

May 8, 2012

Lesson learned? Just because your first baby took his own sweet time to come, it doesn’t mean the second time will be the same. Nothing about this experience with Scrumplet was in any way similar to when I had Monkey.

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As I write this with my heart full of joy, I’m also thinking of a few Mamas who’ve suffered losses. Know that my thoughts are with you.

Dear friends, know also that I’m reading your blog posts, tweets, Facebook and Instagram messages and comments on my posts. I may not leave comments or reply to each tweet/ message because I’m too busy taking in my newborn and making time for my toddler, but know that I do read them all and I thank each and everyone of you for your well wishes and love.

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Filed Under: Scrumplet, Second Child, Second Pregnancy