Are You Judging Me?



You see me with my tired eyes and eyebags

That concealer cannot hide

You see that it means I can’t be bothered

You don’t know that I stayed up all night with a teething baby

Are you judging me?


You see me with my hair in a ponytail

Sweaty loose hairs on my forehead

You see that it means I can’t be bothered

You don’t know that I’ve just spent two hours playing with the kids

Are you judging me?


You see me in an old tee shirt and yoga pants

Maybe a stain or two on it

You see that it means I can’t be bothered

You don’t know that I haven’t had time to shop for new things and that I have a baby who spits up on me

Are you judging me?


You see me in my most comfortable footwear (hello flip flops)

You see me with no makeup

You see that it means I can’t be bothered

You don’t know that I can’t handle a toddler and a baby while wearing wedges and that I don’t actually want to wear makeup

Are you judging me?


You see a woman who doesn’t look as chic as you

You see a woman who looks like she forgot how to dress

You see a woman who’s allowing her toddler candy in a grocery store

You see a woman who doesn’t wear makeup

Are you judging her?


I see a mother who does get up and showered and throws on what’s comfortable and practical

I see a mother who puts most thought into her children and how to give them the best day possible, every single day

I see a mother who tries to make sure her pantry is stocked, dinner gets cooked and children get out and about, so what if bribery is involved

I see a mother who’s confident in her looks, her looks as a mother

Are you still judging?


It is so very easy to look at someone and pass judgment. Yes, we should hold ourselves to higher standards, we should always try to feel/ look/ do better. Because when we are better people, we are better parents. But to each her own. Allow each other the freedom to come to a parenting path, a self-loving path, at their own pace. Parenting is hard enough without mud slinging.


This here? This is a judgement-free zone. Take your judging elsewhere.

This post is inspired by The Momalog – read her post here about bitchy mommy bloggers.


Galit , Tracy and I will be giving away a Signazon product of your choice in this month’s Memories Captured! Signazon offers decals, window decals, yard signs, car magnet signs, and congratulations banners, so link up here from October 15-19 (closes at 9pm Eastern) and make one of these, yours!



  1. Speak Your Mind


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  2. Jessica says:

    Wait? We are supposed to wear makeup and heels when taking care of the kids? Damn. I’ve been doing this wrong all along.
    Jessica ‘s last awesome post..To The One That Made Me MomMy Profile

  3. Maureen | Scoops of Joy
    Twitter: tatterscoops

    And I honestly used to judge the very fashionable moms I’ve seen at the malls here who doesn’t look like they had ever missed any sleep, their skin perfects, their hair perfectly blow-dried in beauty salons, perfectly manicured fingers with troops of nannies behind handling their children while I juggled to keep the diaper bag straps in place and tried not to loose a toddler. Guilty as charged, ma’am. It sometimes goes both ways. Awesome post, Alison!
    Maureen | Scoops of Joy ‘s last awesome post..Herniated Discs Will Not Stop MeMy Profile

    • Alison says:

      Yes, it does. Though from the ‘frumpy’ perspective of things, it’s usually more envy and a sense of wonderment (how do you do it??). I think the key here is: NANNIES. :)

  4. AnnMarie says:

    Oh, Amen, Sister!!!! A.M.E.N!!!!! I love you and I love this post because I am HER!!!!! I am, I am. I try…really, I do but I come up short. I am sleep-deprived..a shower is a luxury and I don’t like to wear make-up. I am sharing this!
    AnnMarie ‘s last awesome post..Essence of Now: Time Spent with FamilyMy Profile

  5. thedoseofreality
    Twitter: ashleytaylor76

    Damn this is awesome. AWESOME. I fully commit to be a lifelong, active member of the Judgment Free Zone!!!
    thedoseofreality ‘s last awesome post..Would You Rather: Kick Up Your Heels or Sing For Your Supper?My Profile

  6. Laura | Mommy Miracles
    Twitter: LauraORourke

    For the record, I have never judged you. You inspire me.

    I think I am mostly completely ok with how people perceive me. I know I’m always pushed to my limits and I have come to realize that I just can’t do more. My goal is to teach society to stop expecting so much from new Moms. ;) But sometimes, I feel less-than when I am with Moms who look like they are so well put together and I just don’t know how they do it.
    Laura | Mommy Miracles ‘s last awesome post..ThankscomplainingMy Profile

    • Alison says:

      I don’t really think about the way other mothers look, and I hope they accord me the same courtesy. It’s not about how we look, it’s about how we love. :)

  7. ilene
    Twitter: fiercedivablog

    I freaking love yoga pants and would live in them all the time if I did not have to put on “real clothes” for work. and talk about being judged? I heard it from other moms for years while my kids were in daycare – because having them in daycare made me a “bad mom.” If only we could support each other and our differences – imagine what a force we women would be as a united front! Stop the judgement! Stop the madness! Ah.. that rant felt good :)

    Clearly, I loved your message!
    ilene ‘s last awesome post..Rock My Root ChakraMy Profile

  8. Alexandra says:

    Oh, yeah. BIBS.

    I read them once, never went back.

    HS mean girls. They wrote the most critical post on BlogHer, and never took into account the time and devotion spent by the BlogHer team in trying to put on a conference that would try its best to give the attendees what they wanted.

    With such huge numbers at a conference, nothing will be perfect. Ever.

    But they slammed the efforts on the BlogHer’s staff behalf.

    BlogHer is good people, truly trying to do everything they can, for a mammoth group of people with diverse interests.

    Can you even imagine planning on such a scale?

    Sorry to go off, I just remember reading them and feeling so relieved I’m not like that, and that I’m waaaay out of high school.

    Thank God.
    Alexandra ‘s last awesome post..It’s Never Too Late To Get InvolvedMy Profile

  9. Robin | Farewell, Stranger says:

    Applauding. I’ve looked an absolute fright for the last two weeks. I keep thinking I will make an effort one of these days, but you know what? I’m tired. And I have a newborn. And i just don’t care. I’d rather be sane than stylish.
    Robin | Farewell, Stranger ‘s last awesome post..The Sound of SilenceMy Profile

    • Alison says:

      Mothers of newborns are totally exempted from being judged. We are too busy keeping the baby alive and well to worry about what people think how we look.

  10. tracy@sellabitmum says:

    Okay, I admit that I am judging the damn flip-flops. xoxo
    tracy@sellabitmum ‘s last awesome post..I’m NearMy Profile

    • Alison says:

      Hee! Funny lady. I know you’re so put together and that’s awesome, I love you for it. xo
      I’m also kinda glad I’ve seen you in your jammies. :)

  11. Kimberly says:

    I’d like to meet the mom who dresses in fancy clothes, wears heels, has make up on and her done, all while juggling the kids. I don’t want to judge her, I just want to know who the hell this made up person is. ;)
    Kimberly ‘s last awesome post..A New MeMy Profile

  12. Na. Teresa Grech Q. Racal says:

    BRAVO! For this post….
    Na. Teresa Grech Q. Racal ‘s last awesome post..Amaya’s GirlsMy Profile

  13. Olga says:

    You know, I wish there would be a judgement-free zone. Because what makes the baby stage so difficult is that not only do we have the baby’s interests in mind, but we also have to field judgement about the way we mother and what we look like while we are at it.

    But I guess there will always be those who judge and we just have to keep reminding ourselves that we don’t know everyone’s situation. A woman who appears to have it more together than we do might have more help around the house or might just be better creating a front.

    The thing is, that when it comes to our kids, it’s more important to us that they are fed, healthy, and happy. So yes, sometimes (okay, often!) what we look like won’t be something we’ll spend time on, but we don’t actually care.
    Olga ‘s last awesome post..Break Out of the Pizza BoxMy Profile

  14. Lily From It's A Dome Life
    Twitter: ItsADomeLife

    Yes! Love it.
    Lily From It’s A Dome Life ‘s last awesome post..This Is The Soundtrack Of My Life (Today)My Profile

  15. Christine @ Love, Life, Surf says:

    Thank you for this. Seriously, thank you. So tired of the judging all.the.time.
    Christine @ Love, Life, Surf ‘s last awesome post..What kind of race spectator are you?My Profile

  16. Christine@TheAums says:

    We need judgement-free zones in all areas of our lives. I immediately thought of Ado when I started reading this post. How supportive and awesome of you to post this.
    Christine@TheAums ‘s last awesome post..Our Trip to the Happiest Place on EarthMy Profile

  17. Tracie
    Twitter: fromtracie

    I love judgement-free zones.

    You know a secret? I didn’t wear makeup before I was a mom…because I generally don’t like it. Occasionally I’ll put a little on for a special occasion, but I gave up on wearing it every day in my middle school years.
    Tracie ‘s last awesome post..Important Television AdviceMy Profile

  18. Ado says:

    Alison, this post is beautiful and poetic. Thank you for writing it – it really does represent most moms, at some point in their motherhood journey. Wish I had read this post when I was a new mom – it would have made me feel not so alone (motherhood can be pretty isolating, especially those middle of the night feelings that you’re still doing now).
    Thank you for speaking up for me on the BIBs site. I haven’t gone over to read whatever it is they are saying – it must be pretty bad since its driven quite a few if their followers over to my page in protest if their nastiness.
    You are a blogger I read and admire, you keep it real but minus judgment – thanks my friend. xo
    Ado ‘s last awesome post..When Mommy Bloggers Get BitchyMy Profile

  19. My Inner Chick
    Twitter: krrobi

    Dear Alison Lee,
    I’ve always despised people who judge…
    including Myself….
    (when I’ve been stupid & ignorant to AaaaaSSUME)!

    Great Post! <3 xx
    My Inner Chick ‘s last awesome post..Mr. Craig, Kardashian Sucks, & Visualizing MetaphorsMy Profile

  20. Mothering From Scratch
    Twitter: momsfromscratch

    {Melinda} I so agree … being a mom today is hard enough. Even if I don’t agree with another mom’s choices, I always try to give her grace. I don’t know her situation. I don’t know what she is dealing with or her limitations. I can’t see her internal struggles. Grace. We all need it.
    Mothering From Scratch ‘s last awesome post..stop and smell the rollupsMy Profile

  21. Mirjam says:

    We mother’s should really know better than to judge someone by their appearance. We should know better.
    And judging someone or putting someone down has never made anyone a better person.
    We need more judgement free-zones!
    Mirjam ‘s last awesome post..Vintage finds and flowersMy Profile

  22. Deb says:

    I would much rather see a disheveled mom out in public that the mom who is perfect and gives “the look” to other mom’s who don’t appear as neat. I am a disheveled mom and proud of it. :)
    Deb ‘s last awesome post..It is that time againMy Profile

  23. Alma says:

    Loved this! I told my husband last night as I was getting ready for bed ” I promise not to look old and disheveled anymore”… He said “you dont look like that…but you may feel like that” … “maybe a haircut or a mani might help but you always look great to me.”
    Having a beau that sees all past that is good too.
    Thanks Alison for making me feel a little sexier today … in a “momma”way.
    Alma ‘s last awesome post..My 110th DayMy Profile

  24. Leighann says:

    I so hope you haven’t experienced this. Mothers should be building each other up, not tearing each other down.

  25. angela says:

    I try to remember that “look our best” means different things for different people, too. Some might focus on make-up, some on clothes, some always have impeccable nails, some might have beautiful skin because they steal their five minutes at night to work on a skin care routine. Just because I don’t like to leave the house without mascara doesn’t mean it’s a focus for everyone :) (I’ll do that but sometimes don’t have time to brush my hair before it goes in a bun … priorities …)
    angela ‘s last awesome post..Pain Thresholds and SuperheroesMy Profile

    • Alison says:

      Exactly, you’re absolutely right, Angela. I tweeze my eye brows because I don’t want to scare small children, and I make sure my clothes are clean and decent. What more could one ask for right?

  26. Elizabeth Flora Ross
    Twitter: efloraross

    Amen, Alison! When moms attack one another, we all lose. There is no call for it. And when they call ou the troops to attack someone for them? That is not only cyberbullying, it’s cowardly. Sadly, I see it all the time. Wish there were more judgement-free zones out there!

  27. sarah @sundayspill says:

    I just cannot wrap my brain around this whole ridiculous thing. Down with frumpy moms? Are those “other” mamas serious? Waaaay too many other daily happenings that have much more importance. I don’t have time to even think about why another mom might be going around without makeup and messy hair. And besides, that’s me! almost everyday! And I love it! More power to the frump.
    sarah @sundayspill ‘s last awesome post..the sunday spill–bringing back the little lovesMy Profile

  28. Natalie says:

    Girl oh girl…I think this is me! I recently went to a playdate at a local kid gym that has open play, and I looked at myself in the mirror and thought holy cow I have huge bags under my eyes and my hair is in a ponytail but looks like crap. Of course there were other cute moms there in boots…and I thought I bet they think I look like death!

  29. Kim@Co-Pilot Mom
    Twitter: copilotmom

    You are so right, Alison. Motherhood is tough enough without adding the judgement of others into the mix. We should be supporting other moms and accepting of where they are in their journeys. It saddens me to see the mudslining. After all, raising happy, healthy children is a parent’s main objective, right?
    Kim@Co-Pilot Mom ‘s last awesome post..They Are BrothersMy Profile

    • Alison says:

      It is indeed. It is mine, and clearly yours. Sadly, the Internet has created a special breed of moms who think it’s okay to judge others. Sigh.

  30. Sue says:

    And that is why I hang out here. xo
    Sue ‘s last awesome post..A Race of Our OwnMy Profile

  31. Jenni Chiu
    Twitter: MommyNaniBooboo

    We need more judgement-free zones. I always knew this was one of them, though.
    Jenni Chiu ‘s last awesome post..I refuse to put that bumper sticker on my car.My Profile

  32. BIBS says:

    It was a pleasure chatting with you this morning…I truly mean it. Just because we don’t share the same perspective on certain things, doesn’t mean we can’t get along. As I said this morning, we all do the best we can.
    Nice post, well written without pointing fingers. I think you’ve inspired me to write a similar post from the other side of things…Don’t Judge…coming from my view of the world. I’d like people to see that underneath the makeup, real people with real issues and feelings exist…not “cartoon characters” and “mean girls. Let me know how you feel about that.
    Thank you for being up front and having the nerve to stand up to me, in person, as we know who each other really are. Regardless of our differing views on some things, I respect that, and you.
    Keep Rocking, B*tch….I mean that in the most complimentary way :)
    BIBS ‘s last awesome post..Yep. I’m A BitchMy Profile

    • Alison says:

      Exactly. We can agree to disagree and still play nice. No need for name calling and unnecessary mud slinging. I’m glad we had a civil discourse.

      I did want to write this from the other perspective as well, one para after the other, but it was getting to be a 1000 word post so I cut that. I did write about doing better/ making an effort here in a guest post, if you want to read:

      I do know that there are real people under the makeup and the high heels. Everyone has a story. Hence, no judging. I don’t look at someone like you, a fine lady, and think, she must have hired help or something if she manages to look so put together. No. If I did look at you and think something, it’d be, “Nice shoes! Wonder where she got them?: :)

      Do write a post about your perspective. I do ask that you keep it as judgement-free as possible, that’s fair right?

      The respect goes both ways, my friend. Thanks for reading this and not going apeshit on me. :)

  33. Runnermom-jen says:

    no judging…I’ve lived and learned and am not justified to judge. To each their own, and seriously, we have NO IDEA what someone else is REALLY going through.
    Love and kindness and happiness goes a LONG way :)

    I love this, Alison…and you too.
    Runnermom-jen ‘s last awesome post..HappinessMy Profile

  34. Lady Jennie says:

    My immediate tight-knit circle is not at all judgy, but sometimes I get that on the schoolyard and it feels yucky. I’m past the stage where I have excuses though. ;-)

  35. Susi says:

    Alison. I read Ado’s post and I am just as outraged as you are. I thought this space was supposed to be for us to come together, to share our daily battles and to built each other up… not to put each other down. I’ve learned so much in this past year of blogging and met so many amazing woman the world over that it saddens me to see this. Why? Aren’t we all moms who try to do the best they can with what they have? I’m happily a part of your judgement free zone… I promise no judginess from me… EVER!!!
    Susi ‘s last awesome post..Cupcake Bosses {Wordless Wednesday}My Profile

    • Alison says:

      There are so many who try to drag others down. Fortunately, there are more who pull us up. Thank goodness for those women. Thank you for your kind words and support of Ado!

  36. Rach (DonutsMama) says:

    You know, I walked into my 1st moms meeting looking so dreadful and I was amazed at how put together some of the moms were. I almost felt betrayed! I was all “I have a newborn, you’re lucky I showered!” I admit I judge the moms dressed to the nines b/c I have no clue how they do it. But alas, I’m still the mom in yoga pants or wrinkled khakis with no makeup and a ponytail.
    Rach (DonutsMama) ‘s last awesome post..Graco Snugride Event at Babies R UsMy Profile

  37. Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes says:

    OH but I am judging you! I’m judging that you are a marvellous person!
    And flip flops are fashionable, nah!
    Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes ‘s last awesome post..Memories captures : sisterhoodMy Profile

  38. Amanda
    Twitter: lilahbility

    I think one of the great things about motherhood is that I now have an EXCUSE to sometimes say “meh” when it comes to my appearance. If I’m dragging a three-year-old and a newborn around while wearing my sweatpants and no makeup with messy hair, I think people will understand. It’s when I’m not with them that I feel more pressure to look good. Besides, our kids are so cute, no one is looking at US – they’re too busy making eyes at our kids! ;) But you’re right, we all need to cut each other some slack. I try to meet other tired mama eyes with a knowing and empathetic smile.
    Amanda ‘s last awesome post..SmileMy Profile

    • Alison says:

      Empathy and kindness and grace. That’s all, isn’t it?
      I do make an effort if I go out without the kids (which is rare), but then I’m not with kids, so people don’t see me as a mom :)

  39. Elizabeth Kane says:

    Beautifully written, Alison. And if someone still can’t see what’s truly important behind pony tails, flip flops, and yoga pants after a second look, their judgment is worthless!

  40. Not a Perfect Mom says:

    what you just described is me about 4 out of 7 days…and I can’t stand those bitchy judgey moms…and when I see them looking at me because I’m not at my best I just want to give them the finger
    Not a Perfect Mom ‘s last awesome post..I Would Be A QueenMy Profile

  41. Cyndy says:

    Love this!
    WHO has time to judge other people? I just dont understand. My time is better spent trying to keep my own crap together.
    My kids are older and I still look a hot mess half the time! lol

    • Alison says:

      I think some people make the habit of looking at others when they’re out and about? I don’t know. Usually when I see a mom with kids, I’m looking at the kids and swooning ;)

  42. Blond Duck says:

    Not at all!
    Blond Duck ‘s last awesome post..LadyfingersMy Profile

  43. Kristen says:

    Yay! Because I am always late, have dark rings around my eyes and my hair goes in every different direction with these curls. So happy I can show up here the wreck that I am! (Btw, miss you! I’ve barely been on blogs lately. Life is crazy!)
    Kristen ‘s last awesome post..Breast Cancer AwarenessMy Profile

  44. Erin says:

    What a great post!
    Sometimes I feel as if people spend too much time judging other people. Until you walk a mile in another person’s shoes you have know idea about where they have come from.
    Erin ‘s last awesome post..She’s Simply AmazingMy Profile

  45. Natalie @MamaTrack says:

    Yep, that’s me with the food stains on my shoulder. I wish they weren’t there, but the baby likes to ride. What am I gonna do?
    Natalie @MamaTrack ‘s last awesome post..SomedayMy Profile

  46. Stephanie says:

    I’ve told my cousin this before – I only started wearing make-up, buying nicer clothes (and even nice lingerie and heels) after I became a mother. A single mother, which is weird I know, because it’s like I don’t even have anyone in particular to look nice for. I also have to work whilst being a full-time single parent (at night after putting the baby to bed), plus take care of all the other household responsibilities. But. I make time, I shave my legs, I put on clothes which I think I look good in, wear make-up, for me. Because it makes me feel better about myself, and feeling good about myself makes me a better parent, so I can face the next day even though I’m by myself. While I understand some mothers don’t have the luxury of a ridiculously low-maintenance baby, don’t judge or be quick to assume that all put-together mothers have nannies or lots of help. Of course, it doesn’t mean that people should be mean to each other either.

    • Alison says:

      Nope, no judging. Which is kind of the point here. The judging does go both ways. And I’m for NO judging either way. I don’t envy mothers who look put together, I applaud them. I do believe that you need to look after yourself so that you can be a better parent.

  47. Elaine A. says:

    I quit judging people the day after I had my first kid. Oh YEAH I did. ;) No judgement here. But I’m sure people have judged me before. Just yesterday I went to the zoo with the kids and I did not shower or put make-up on before we went. I mean, we were going to hang out with a bunch of stinky animals in 85 degree weather. Of course I saw 5 people I knew. Damn small town. I doubt any of them were judging me because they’ve been there. But who knows for sure.

    Thanks for this post. As is usually the case, you said what I feel. :)
    Elaine A. ‘s last awesome post..Red Rose Teas {Review & Giveaway}My Profile

  48. Ben
    Twitter: Cobypic

    Definitely judging, but only for the better, cause I always love the creative approach you take to your “posts”

    ps. I air quoted that while typing only cause they always seem to be more than just a post
    Ben ‘s last awesome post..Cobypic is…My Profile

  49. Dominique Goh says:

    I can relate to the dressing comfortable. I agree no judging we are doing our best as moms and it’s hard enough.
    Dominique Goh ‘s last awesome post..My Special Boy- Doggy BoyMy Profile

  50. Bev
    Twitter: Linkouture

    Beautiful post! I’m not yet a mother myself, but I worked in a family support program for years and I understand from talking to my coworkers and families we served how challenging parenting is and how hard most parents work. It always astounds me when I hear stories of parents being judged by others–you never know the whole story.
    Bev ‘s last awesome post..Simply Bons: An Interview with Bonnie AlexanderMy Profile

  51. Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms
    Twitter: SensibleMoms

    Wonderful post that I judge to be supportive perfection. Ellen
    Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms ‘s last awesome post..It Was A Beautiful Weekend For . . . A Trip To The HospitalMy Profile

  52. Kristin @ What She Said says:

    I’ve come across BIBS several times (I think via Yeah Write) and the main issue I have with them isn’t so much what they say but HOW they say it. Angry, obscenity-laced rants complaining about and shaming entire subsets of people – especially other women – just aren’t my brand of humor. Erma Bombeck once said, “When making fun of people, target yourself first.” So, so true. Not to mention there’s dry humor and then there’s just being sarcastic and rude – and A LOT of people confuse the two.

    So, the main issue I have with that BIBS post slamming frumpy moms isn’t that it’s offensive. It’s that it *isn’t* funny.
    Kristin @ What She Said ‘s last awesome post..Teachable Moments for Brands and BloggersMy Profile

    • Alison says:

      I agree. It’s not really what they write, it’s just how they tone it.
      They are certainly not for everyone!
      However, I have to say, ‘Bitch1′ has responded well to the aftermath – both from my talking to her on Facebook and on her comment on this post. Plus she and Ado have settled this like grown women (finally), so all’s well that ends well!

  53. KalleyC
    Twitter: KalleyC

    Excellent post. We all face and handle parenting differently, and I totally agree that we should all be allowed to do what’s best for us and our family. Most days I don’t wear make up, and you can find me on the floor with my daughter playing or at the park. It’s what’s good for her. Heavens know I can’t run after her with heels (well can’t run now regardless).
    KalleyC ‘s last awesome post..Laying LowMy Profile

  54. Stasha says:

    passing judgment is setting yourself up for failure. Cause we all know what comes around goes around. Plus I am too busy pulling my own dirty hair into a ponytail to judge anyone else’s ;)
    Stasha ‘s last awesome post..Bank talkMy Profile

  55. By Word of Mouth Musings says:

    Bitchy Mommy Bloggers – what is this thing of which you speak? ;)
    By Word of Mouth Musings ‘s last awesome post..What is a blog? Or Breathe? I couldn’t decide … it is that kind of life …My Profile

  56. adrienne
    Twitter: themommymess

    Great post, Alison! On the flip side of this, I think it’s important to remember that those beautiful women dressed to the nines isn’t to be judged either. So often I see an intimidatingly gorgeous woman, who appears to have it all, including a coordinating purse and shoes, and think WTH? How does she do it. She probably has a story too, and I’m sure I DON”T know what it is. Great reminder to check myself.
    adrienne ‘s last awesome post..When Your Kid Calls You OutMy Profile

    • Alison says:

      There is absolutely a flip side and I’d actually written it down, para for para with this, but it turned into a long ass 1,000 word post so I had to cut that out, sadly. I hope when I say judgment-free zone, people understand that it’s completely judgment-free, from all sides. I don’t look at someone well put-together and think, gosh you must either neglect your children or you have a maid. :)

  57. Asianmommy
    Twitter: Asianmommy

    Love this idea!
    Asianmommy ‘s last awesome post.."To the Arctic"My Profile

  58. Kiran says:

    I see a woman who is devoted to her children. Who prioritizes their well-being over her appearance. Who realizes that there will be days when she will put on the makeup and the fancy outfits, but that her life isn’t like that anymore. And she is still beautiful, no matter what she is wearing or the spit up that’s on her.

    Judgment is a part of life – but if I were to judgmental here – it would be to say that you’ve got it down, sister. And you are doing perfect the way you are.
    Kiran ‘s last awesome post..The Purple SariMy Profile

  59. Julia
    Twitter: juliahembree

    No judging here!! I thought that was all just a part of motherhood. Is is not??
    Julia ‘s last awesome post..New Look, Same MeMy Profile

  60. Janice
    Twitter: mommyslounge

    Amen, sister. Amen.
    Janice ‘s last awesome post..A Little MagicMy Profile

  61. Alexa says:

    Amen Alison!!! I love it! Your post pretty much describes what I look like every day. it’s not that I DON’T want to look nice… I just don’t want to sacrifice something else in order to do it!
    Alexa ‘s last awesome post..The innocentMy Profile

  62. karen
    Twitter: mrs_KarenC

    I SO LOVE THIS POST…thsat always bothered me that moms would attack or pass judgement on other moms. You truly have no idea what one mom is going through, we all need to support each other.
    karen ‘s last awesome post..Look and walk over the junk.My Profile

  63. Tonya says:

    I love every freaking word of this. Passing judgement of any kind is bad enough, but there is something about moms doing it that just sucks even more.

    Thank you for writing this, Alison!
    Tonya ‘s last awesome post..Dear BabyMy Profile

    • Alison says:

      I’m so, so tired of moms criticizing other moms for something as superficial as appearances. I mean, really? Find something else that’s actually worthwhile to fight for.

      Thanks Tonya, for your support!

  64. JDaniel4's Mom says:

    Unless we are walking her shoes we don’t know what her day is like.
    JDaniel4′s Mom ‘s last awesome post..It’s Pumpkin Time- Read.Explore.LearnMy Profile

  65. Ginny Marie
    Twitter: lemondroppie

    From reading all the comments, I can see there is a back story I’m not familiar with, but this is a great post that stands on its own. So we’ve moved the mommy wars from working vs. stay-at-home, breastfeeding vs. bottle, to appearances? Gah!
    Ginny Marie ‘s last awesome post..Freaking Out About AppearancesMy Profile

    • Alison says:

      It’s not my back story to tell, but if you want to know more, follow the link at the bottom of my post and you’ll see. If you want to. Needless to say, some moms are still judging. Sigh.

  66. Emily @ TheBusyMomsDiet says:

    Amen! I’m in a very similar state of affairs and I see those looks… And my best friend, is one of those people who always looks put together and perfect and people judge her for that too…. Ay mamas! We’re all in this together!
    Happy Sharefest.
    Emily @ TheBusyMomsDiet ‘s last awesome post..Weigh-In Wednesday: Week 1My Profile

  67. another jennifer
    Twitter: anotherjenb

    Love it! I could care less about what other people think when they see me in my sweats. They might be judging me, but they have no idea what great things I do in those sweats – being a mom, running a business, etc. I don’t understand why people get so judgmental. I hope you’re not getting unfairly judged. If so, those people suck. :P
    another jennifer ‘s last awesome post..Philanthropy Friday: Scoring Climate LeadershipMy Profile

  68. Leslie says:

    How can I judge you when I’m covered in spit-up and the ponytail I thought was cute is now frizzed & sagging? Judging others on such things is such a waste of energy. You are fantastic-remember that!
    Leslie ‘s last awesome post..{Memories Captured} My GirlsMy Profile

  69. Katie
    Twitter: ksluiter

    Oh friend. this post is awesome. I put so many expectations on mySELF and then I judge MYSELF. If I want others to be kind, I need to be kind to myself.

    LOVE this.
    Katie ‘s last awesome post..Project 365 {week 42}My Profile

  70. Marta
    Twitter: marta28

    Oh Alison, I loved this. I have tried so hard to say away from that. Even a long period of time when the majority of my friends were men having been so scorned by women. Burned by those that were supposed to me my friends. It’s hard, it’s terrible. And still I have the hardest time trusting women when everything is competition, and judgement and gossip.
    Marta ‘s last awesome post..That Time of Year (Giveaway!)My Profile

  71. Kir says:

    oh Alison, you always know just what to say, how to say it…we as women need to just be KINDER to ourselves and each other.
    I don’t judge other moms, because I have learned that doing that means I believe I live in a glass house about it…and I don’t.
    I am just as human, just as fragile, just as “WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING??” as everyone else.
    No one has the answers, not one of us has perfect children , but we do have the family that works for OUR FAMILY and that is what is important.

    Don’t worry I am never going to judge anyone, I’m too busy trying to figure out how the hell to get things done in my own life.
    Kir ‘s last awesome post..Stream of Consciousness: Everybody Plays the Fool..Sometimes?My Profile

  72. Galit Breen says:

    I’ll be judge-free with you! In yoga pants! With oreos in hand! Love you! xo
    Galit Breen ‘s last awesome post..Pantene Beautiful Lengths {Locks of Love}My Profile


  1. After-Thoughts - Momalog says:

    [...] had bravely jumped into the fray and defended me on their blog. She also wrote this poetic post, Are You Judging Me? in response to the whole furore. So BIBS asked Alison if she would broker some sort of peace deal. [...]