Tips, Ideas & Advice will now be every two weeks. Come back next week to find out what advice some moms give to make helping kids with homework less stressful! If you have something to add to that, email me at mamawantsthis ({at} gmail {dot} com by October 21.
Exhausted. Overwhelmed. Burnt out.
That’s how I’ve been feeling for the past month.
By life, and not surprisingly, by blogging and all that comes with it.
Writing my own blog, contributing to two other blogs, guest posting 3 to 4 times a month, reading 1,031 items in the past 30 days (according to my Google Read statistics) which is an average of 35 blogs a day (not counting return visits to new readers and visiting blogs in linkys), commenting on almost all of them, tweeting, emailing, Facebooking, Stumbling, Pinning.
And I have an active almost-2 -year-old toddler, who appears to be even more clingy to Mama than ever.
Is it any wonder I’m just spent?
So much so, I called out for help. I seriously contemplated quitting.
And so many of you responded with such wonderful advice, encouraging words and gestures of friendship.
I realized then – that is what fuels my love of blogging.
The connections. The friendship. The understanding.
I’ve come to live for knowing you are out there, happy to connect.
I’ve come to love the friends I’ve made.
I’ve come to count on you to understand and relate to what I write here on this blog (and elsewhere).
You drive me to be a better writer, a kinder blogger, a greater friend.
I can’t quit.
I won’t quit.
I will, however, have to readjust my commitments to blogging. Refocus my energies.
I’ve decided to …
…… post 4 times a week instead of 5. I love writing, it’s the reason I started blogging, so cutting back to 2-3 times a week seems to defeat the purpose (for me at least).
……. do my tips posts once every two weeks, instead of weekly ones. Although I don’t write most of it, relying on my readers to provide the content, editing and collating all the information takes up way more time than I expected.
…… not feel obliged to do every single linky/ meme out there. I want to, I do. But sometimes, I just don’t have it in me to link up and read even 2-3 other linked up posts. Remember my full Reader?
…… learn to say no. I have committed to guest posts until December. I will accept no more invitations for guest posting until 2012. This is going to be a hard one for me, I find it difficult to say no!
….. not reply to every single comment on my posts. Sometimes, I merely write ‘thank you’ 10 times. I hope you, my readers will understand if you don’t get a reply from me each time.
…… let go of the guilt of not reading every single post by every single blog I follow. I have 88 blogs in my Reader. I simply can’t keep up with all daily any longer. So if I don’t visit you each time, please know that I still love you.
…… not comment on every single post I read. I really want to, but time is short. So know that I read and love your posts, although I might not say it out loud.
….. spend less waking hours on Twitter. I’ve been doing this for a month, and it has freed up time for me to write. For that I’m grateful. So Tweeps, know that I haven’t forgotten you, and that I miss you all. I will hop on once in a while, but I can’t stay long. And, know that I lurk sometimes!
I know that these changes are required. They have to happen, and happen now.
I know that it doesn’t make me a bad blogger.
I know that for me, it’s enough.
And? I know that this little guy…. fuels my life.
This week’s Be Enough Me prompt: “What Fuels You?”
Every MONDAY join us…
Write, post, link-up, share your story and your voice.
Be part of carrying the weight of confidence, empowerment and share our mission
to empower, inspire, and remind women, parents and children
that the time has come to celebrate ourselves!
Linking up with lovelinks #27.
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You go girl! Way to see what things you need to cut, but not completely cut-off. I’ve always admired you for your amazing ability to multitask, but it’s good to know you’re human, too
{And I think the toddler, with those adorable chubby legs, is great fuel!}
Mrs. Weber ‘s last awesome post..Quick and Easy: Chicken Bruschetta Bake
Thank you Lauren. I’m definitely NOT superhuman, though I sometimes wish I was
It’s been amazing to me to watch you work so hard. I have honestly wondered how you were able to manage it all! Good for you for refocusing.
ML@My3LittleBirds ‘s last awesome post..What Makes it a Miracle?
Nobody will fault you for wanting to slow down! It’s a big commitment to run a blog and most people don’t realize that when they start. The blog bug bites you and every person will eventually experience the burnout…but your plan is good & you will get thru this!
amanda austin ‘s last awesome post..Five things I learned from Project Runway
I do hope the plan works (as long as I stick to it!).
I’ve felt the same way. I’m cutting back on certain things and am working on rearranging my schedule. I just can’t keep up with everything.
I’m so glad to hear that you won’t be quitting. I’d miss you way too much!
Kimberly ‘s last awesome post..My Guilty Pleasures
And I, you!
Twitter: HouseUnseen
says:
I think these are some AWESOME resolutions, Alison. Kudos!
Dwija {House Unseen} ‘s last awesome post..Moving Mountains
I hope you’re almost all settled into your new place…all the packing and moving couldn’t have helped. I can completely understand why that adorable boy is your fuel. Even from the back, he’s a cutie pie!
jacqui ‘s last awesome post..One Mysterious Chick…
I am all settled, thank you!
He has adorable legs, doesn’t he?
Hey there! Cheering for you from here ! =D
Hope you have settled down in your new place. I adore your writing. Authentic and inspiring. Keep it up!!
Catheryn @ Pinkbibs ‘s last awesome post..Flower Power
I die at the Monkey’s little legs. Die.
Also, you are a blogging superwoman; I, for one, absolutely understand that you can’t be everywhere, reading and commenting everywhere.
Hee hee, I just love his legs. The day will come when he will just grow taller and leaner and I will miss those chubby legs.
Thank you for understanding!
Whoa. So I’m not the only one that feels this way, ay? I just think it was easier for you and harder for me because I’m so slow at doing things and I always feel like I am behind. Then when I get the “behind” feeling, I feel guilty. Then, when I feel “guilty”, I overwork. Vicious cycle, really. Now, I’m trying to do what I can do and let the rest go. Good job, Alison
elizabeth-flourishinprogress ‘s last awesome post..Monday Dare: Hospital gowns are a good look on me
It is a vicious cycle, which is why I am banishing guilt!
This sounds like a well-balanced approach to blogging! I love how much of your heart you put into your posts, your comments, and all of the comments you leave on other blogs. You’ve made me realize how ‘real’ this online community is, but you’ve also helped me realize how important the ‘offline’ community, family, children are too. Thank you Alison for sharing this with us
Kim ‘s last awesome post..Unleashing Our Inner Steve Jobs: Rule One
I get so much back from this lovely community I’ve found through blogging. Now I need to give some of me back to my offline people
Twitter: lilahbility
says:
I don’t think anyone will hold any of these cutbacks against you. And if they do, they weren’t a loyal reader in the first place. And I certainly don’t think it’s necessary to reply to every single comment you get on your blog! I hope you get the rest and time with your son that you need.
Amanda ‘s last awesome post..Twitter Is Weird.
Oh I hope so too, I really need to get myself back! Thank you for understanding.
—Mama, A.
It is sooooooooooo difficult to balance everything, isn’t it?
I cut down my blogging to every 3 days now…I can’t do it all and work a full time job, too!
You Rock. I don’t know how you keep up! Whew. & with a baby!! Xxx
btw, You must say NO sometimes….
My Inner Chick ‘s last awesome post..9 of My Favorite Things
I think you do tremendously well, Kim, with all your commitments! You totally rock too.
Well, first I’m glad I snuck a guest post out of you in time! Hehe!
Second, and much more importantly, good for you for realizing changes needed to be made and making them! You will find your balance I’m sure of it. Remember, work in progress!
Jamie ‘s last awesome post..i will not miss this part
Yes, this. Exactly this. XO
Galit Breen ‘s last awesome post..Writing in the Dark
Little big man needs his Mommy, you should definitely free up some time for your little dude. I mean, he isn’t going to be small and huggy for long! I am, of course, speaking from experience
– I don’t know about anybody else but I sure don’t blog daily – I’d never keep up!
Dave ‘s last awesome post..Baby Strollers
Yes, that, exactly. Little Dude is slowly becoming less little day by day. This Mama needs to be there for every single moment!
Blogging can be a lot of time and effort. I hope your new plan works out.
Jessica ‘s last awesome post..VlogTalk: On The Catwalk
You have a wonderful blog-life, Alison, one that is inspired by life, that’s also life-inspiring. I admire you for making this decision to re-organize, cut back, re-prioritize. At the end of the day, I’m sure it will make you stronger, more focussed, and downright happy. Fully support you, and will continue to love your blog!
June ‘s last awesome post..Honey, I shrunk your budget
Thank you so much June, you have no idea how much that means to me.
I think it’s wonderful that you’re taking the time for yourself rather than risk burn out. Take care of yourself first…we’re here when you are inspired to write!
Give monkey a hug!
Ann ‘s last awesome post..Beef and Quinoa Soup (or Stew!)
Monkey says thank you for the hug, Auntie Ann!
I think you have a well thought out plan. You aren’t giving up what you love, but you aren’t being weighed down by it either. I do believe that is a perfect balance.
Good for you mama!!
Hopes@Staying Afloat! ‘s last awesome post..The Only Girl’s Guilty Pleasures
Glad to know you’re refocusing. I think every blogger at some point, would need to do that. It would be silly for you to quit now after investing so much into this.
Hope you’re all settled into your new place.
Your ‘fuel”s getting taller and is still looking chubby cute even from the back.
Kiddothings ‘s last awesome post..Bentong Farm Visit and A Guilty Pleasure
All settled, thank you! Oh yes, he’s getting BIG!
I could not have said it better myself. My Husband looked at me the other day after 3hours of sleep and asked what is in it for me. You know if I went to work in Mc D’s the same amount of hours I sit down by the computer after I put my son to sleep I would make a decent living. Puts things in perspective, ha?
I would say I do not write a comment on 50% of the posts I read. It might seem rude but I don’t look at my statistics, so I hope the bloggers I follow feel the same.
And your fuel, he is adorable. And very earth friendly
Stasha ‘s last awesome post..Monday Listicles
It’s not rude, it’s just impossible!
It sounds like a great balance of blogging and family!
JDaniel4′s Mom ‘s last awesome post..Pause Life for a Moment- Bytes of Memory
Nothing listed above remotely makes you a bad blogger. We all start out full steam ahead and then realize there’s no way that we can keep up that pace since we all have lives outside of our blogs. I’m glad you found some guidelines/goals for yourself. That definitely helps in figuring out how to take some of the pressure away.
I could not love this post more..and I’ll be really pissed off if you reply to this comment.
tracy@sellabitmum ‘s last awesome post..Top 10 Tips for a Successful Holiday Family Photo Shoot
I used to wonder how the Hell you did it all…seriously I was so jealous, of your writing, your reach, your ability…and while it hurts me to admit the jealousy, it was true. But you writing this, admitting the need to step back, I have never been more jealous again and RESPECTFUL of the things you do.
Alison, I think EVERY SINGLE THING You do it good and amazing. You know that I will be here to read you whenever you write and please know that I stand in awe of what you are doing to make sure you can continue to do it.
WOW….what a motivation and inspiration you are!!!!
Kir ‘s last awesome post..Just Be Enough: The Power of You
You have no idea what an inspiration YOU are to me, Kir. With your beautiful writing, positive attitude and big smile! Love you. xo
I have been seriously missing me some Alison.. BUT I understand completely that you need to step back and proritize.
For me it was cutting back on posts and sometimes leaving Friday’s open.
I also leave my reader until the weekends (unless I have a slow lunch at work and sneak a few reads shhh).
All of us are passionate about this world and we dive in at 100% – that is what keeps us going but what also exhausts us.
Do what YOU need to do to stay happy.
xo
Exactly that, Leighann!
Saying no is a good thing sometimes! I love being busy and it’s like a dream come true to have so much writing– but you are right that you must manage it like any other job. Good luck!
Wendy @ mama one to three ‘s last awesome post..Fear and Writing
I think every single one of us has been here. Just take a break, write when you can. If you don’t life life, it’s gonna pass you by
MommaKiss ‘s last awesome post..I could use a big win.
That’s right, I’m definitely stepping back and living life first.
Girl you have a full plate! I don’t blame you for cutting back…it can seem more like a job than something you enjoy and that’s not what it’s supposed to be about. Good for you!
Natalie ‘s last awesome post..Pumpkin Chunkin’
That’s about the cutest picture I’ve ever seen! I love shots from behind!
Glad you’re pulling back a bit – you’re too good to let yourself burn out.
Missy | Literal Mom ‘s last awesome post..Snap Judgments – Your Words
Oh girl, I SO hear you on this one! When I am overwhelmed or I have writer’s block, I think about quitting blogging at least once a week, and then I remember why I am doing it. I love that I can chronicle this special moment in time, and hopefully, my kids will read it as adults and smile, and feel like they know their mom *that* much better.
Also? I totally agree on the friendships and connections. I NEVER expected that, but it makes much my life that much richer.
Keep on blogging! You are WAY too good to stop!
Clare @ it’s all good in the motherhood ‘s last awesome post..A Love Story.
That’s part of what keeps me going – that this is a journal of sorts that my son will be able to read some day.
Glad you decided not to quit! It’s amazing what you’ve been doing so far. I’ve had to reprioritize too, trying to maintain a balance between blogging and caring for the people that fuel me
Love those chubby legs and arms!
Mama, Hear Me Roar ‘s last awesome post..Sweet Man’s birthday
Yes, all of this! I jumped in with both feet, full force and while it’s really fun, I have to be able to step away. It’s why I’ve been posting less and not commenting as much too. I do read though, but sometimes can’t always comment. I don’t want this to turn into something that I feel like I “have to” do. I want to keep it fun. So if I need a break, I’ll take a break and not feel guilty. I know my friends will allow me to pick up where I’ve left off.
Rach (DonutsMama) ‘s last awesome post..Life’s Lessons: The Quiet Edition
Yes, that, it has to stay enjoyable, otherwise, why bother?
Good luck! And don’t feel guilty for not commenting on every comment – I think it often looks awkward when a blogger comments on something that clearly wasn’t needing one, so the comment is then forced to be something inane.
Megan (Best of Fates) ‘s last awesome post..4 Steps to Carving A Mustache’d Pumpkin (Like Your Grandmother Did Before You)
These are some excellent goals for maintaining your sanity! For the most part, they’re similar to my strategies for avoiding blogging burnout. The one big difference? I keep trying to spend more time on Twitter, not less! Oh, and please don’t feel like you have to reply to this comment. Only do so if you really want to!
Christi ‘s last awesome post..The Scientific Musings of a Preteen
Love this! I’ve had to make a lot of these same types of changes.
I don’t really reply to comments any more unless they are asking a question or I really feel like there is something to add to the conversation, other than “thank you.” Instead, I visit their blogs… and I’ve let go of the guilt that it doesn’t always happen the same day that someone visits me.
I’m not on twitter all that often. 10 minutes here and there. Not all day.
I’m only blogging 2-3x/week plus my Friday guest post.
My family has to come first!
Shell ‘s last awesome post..What Doing a Detox Taught Me
You’re the epitome of balancing blogging with family, Shell!
I’ve often wondered where you find the time – I’m glad to hear you are cutting back for yourself and your little one. I always stop to read your comments, even if they are on other people’s blogs – I’ve been just so amazed at how you can comment on all these blogs – yet, thoughtfully. With heart. (-:
You have inspired me to try to up my blog reading which I’ve done because of you! (-:
Ado ‘s last awesome post..Mommy’s A Closet Hypochondriac
I’m so glad I inspired at least one person! If I quit tomorrow, I’d quit happy
I can totally relate to feeling overwhelmed by it all. I don’t reply to all the comments I should or read the blogs of all my commenters every time because it simply is not possible and have me keep my sanity.
I think everyone understands that. Some blogs I read every day and have never heard from the author, but I love reading them and I do it for that.
Good luck with your life balance, I think that’s what a lot of us need to do. What’s the point of blogging if it interferes with all the other good stuff?
Love your last sentence – so true!
With all of that, it’s no surprise you burned out. There’s simply no way anyone can sustain that kind of blogging/reading/commenting schedule. That’s not a knock against you; it’s just a simple fact.
I think you’re making some good changes. But I have to advocate one more time with only posting 2-3x a week. I also love to write and I really don’t feel like I’m sacrificing anything by only posting 2-3x a week. And some weeks wen I’m feeling particularly inspired, I may write more and just schedule my posts in advance. It’s always nice to be able to get ahead. I haven’t actually been able to do that in a while, but it’s definitely nice when it happens.
But in the end, you have to do what’s right for you. And if posting 4x a week feels like a good balance, then 4x a week it is.
Kristin @ What She Said ‘s last awesome post..About That Time I Denied Peter Frampton a Pizza
I don’t know with the number of times of posting a week yet – I set myself at 4 for now, but if I am still struggling to keep up, then it’d be down to 3 times a week. It depends really! If I have something to write though, I’d write, like you said. We’ll just have to see
Way to go! It is hard to say no, it is hard to cut back, but it is the best thing, sometimes! We all need time to refuel, recharge, and actually enjoy (again) the things we love.
You will be glad you made these changes. Each of them is small, but putting them together will have a huge impact. At least you are aware of the changes that need to be made. You could just be pulling your hair out and running in circles.
So glad I found your blog! Hang in there!!
Sharon {Grumpy, Sleepy, and Bashful} ‘s last awesome post..Things I’ve Never Done
I’ve already started implementing the changes and feeling good about it, thank you!
Thank you for finding your way here – I’ll make my way to visit you soon
It will feel so good to scale back and give yourself some breathing room. Just reading about all of your commitments made me tired!
Hi, I am your newest lurker. Not a creepy lurker, though. I just found your blog and I am really enjoying your posts.
Three Little Baers ‘s last awesome post..When She Loved Me
Thank you for reading! I hope you come back – despite my cutbacks
This is exactly how I choose to blog. I write when I have something to SAY. Sometimes that means I don’t blog for two weeks at a time. I respond to comments on my blog pretty rarely, although I LOVE receiving them. Currently I tweet almost constantly, but that’s just because I’m still brand new to Twitter. That will change.
This list is totally reasonable!!
Aubrey Anne ‘s last awesome post..The truth that haunts me
Good for you, Alison. Really great ideas here, many of which I am going to steal and adopt in my own blogging life! Wishing you luck and some peace of mind!
(No need to reply.)
Cookie’s Mom ‘s last awesome post..Guilty Pleasures
except my blog, right? you’ll comment on mine,right? or else I may think you’re mad at me…
ha! Just kidding….
I’m a great reader, but a horrible commenter, I usually comment every few posts or so just as a reminder of hey, I’m here! Or if I really have something to say…
Calm down babe…focus on that kiddo, he’s going to grow way too quick and us bloggers aren’t going anywhere…
Not a Perfect Mom ‘s last awesome post..Zombie Love
I realized that – the kiddo is growing up fast and you guys are just so awesome and understanding.
Honestly, I often wondered how you were managing to be at so many places in one day. You’ve definitely earned your title as The 1st Lady of the Blogosphere! I won’t take too much offence that you’ve not been by my wee little blog quite some time ;^) JK… I know you’re a busy lady. Hope your move went smoothly! Hang in there, girl! Glad you decided not to quit. I’m with you though. As a new blogger, I have no clue how people keep up with all EVERYTHING! I hate to feel like I’m letting people down. This blogging thing definitely takes up waayyy more time than I ever thought it would.
Mommy2¢ ‘s last awesome post..10 Guilty Pleasures – Don’t Judge!!
The guilt of letting people down – gotta let that go!! After a few more months, you’ll know what I mean
Good for you. I think you’re doing the right thing. I’m trying to do the same myself, to streamline. It’s exhausting.
Enjoy your time, my friend!
Mama Track ‘s last awesome post..Changing My Expectations
Oh yes, I will!
New to the blogger world I’ve come to understand that there’s so much to read and while it’s a lot of fun, it can also be demanding. You have made some wise choices, after all you’re not just a blogger, you’re also a mom!
XO
I just recently took a giant step away from blogging. I still love it but I am no longer allowing myself to have my life sucked away by it all. If I have time to read and comment on blogs, I will. If not, I don’t. If I’m moved to write I do. If not? Here’s a shitty piece of art courtesy of my 8 year old. Discuss. I am not a fan of Twitter but that’s just me. It’s way too addicting and I don’t have time for it. Even Facebook is taking a back seat to REAL LIFE these days. Maybe it’s burn out. Maybe it’s an epiphany. But I’m happier with less. Less is more.
Lola ‘s last awesome post..Heineken Tackles Mental Illness.
You are not just funny, you are wise.
I knew I wasn’t seeing you as much on Twitter! I’m glad you did what you felt was best. Hugs.
Erica ‘s last awesome post..Certain Things
Busy is a good thing in blogging, Alison! It means you’re well on your way to the top! You’ve accomplished so much in the past few months… remember how it was for us in the beginning
)??
But at the same time, I know how time-consuming blogging could be. Heck, my blogging schedule is probably only one-third of yours, and sometimes I feel like I want to quit! So I really understand how crazy it could feel at times.
Here’s hoping you’ll find some rest and that elusive balance, without having to leave the blogging world for too long, my friend
Oh yes my friend, I remember what it was like in the beginning when I felt I had to work so hard, but I loved it!
I still do, but I do need to find a better balance for life and blogging, glad everyone understands!
I’m glad that you are trying to refocus and find the balance.
Barbara ‘s last awesome post..3 Little Monkeys
Smart girl!! I don’t mind if you don’t read every one of my posts. I still feel like you’re a friend, and I’m sure everyone else feels the same way.
Lady Jennie ‘s last awesome post..Young Lady Has a Friend
You’re too sweet, Jennie.
Good for you. These are the very decisions I had to make when work began again in September. I post 3-4 times a week. The day off in between helps me catch up with my other blogs. It also allows me to have FUN blog reading and checking out other bloggers. Remember the fun part. That’s what you told me months ago. Don’t quit. Just readjust.
Laura@Catharsis ‘s last awesome post..And Then I Realized I Was Naked. And It Wasn’t Pretty.
I did say that, didn’t I?
Time to take my own advice!
Yay! Now, do you feel like you just lost 10 lbs? Monkey’s chunka butt is so cute, be tee dubs.
Julie @ mamamash ‘s last awesome post..Let’s go visiting!
This is genius! I am so glad that you are taking care of you– and your plan to scale back sounds realistic and fantastic–and smart!
Elena @CiaoMom ‘s last awesome post..I Have Never
It sounds like you took the advice from last week!
Do what you gotta. It will only make the work you do post (oh, and your life) better.
Lindsey ‘s last awesome post..Wordless Wednesday: don’t have a birthday here.
Twitter: beeswithhoney
says:
I understand. I’ve been there. I will always love you no matter what
Thank you, love you too
I tried being a superblogger for a couple weeks – joining in memes almost every day, staying up until midnight or later reading and commenting and writing. I only lasted two weeks! I’m amazed how long you did. I love all the connections, but I need to be available to my boys. So we all understand and totally support you. And we still think you’re a super blogger!
Jessica@Team Rasler ‘s last awesome post..Guilty Pleasures
Aw, thanks Jessica! I prefer to try and be supermom now, so super blogger will have to take a backseat
Twitter: MissMarinaStar
says:
Just wanted to say, I loved this. You got it right when you said that you want to read and comment and write for everyone and everything, but if you did your life would be online and not at home with the ones who inspire you.
Blogging is a catch-22!
Miss Marina Star ‘s last awesome post..Touching Base
I get it Alison! It’s ok!!
I know you of all people, would totally get it. Thank you
So, hi, it’s Saturday. And you posted this on Monday. Or maybe it was Sunday (in your world or mine). So yeah, while I’m still here and I’m commenting I’m way late. Because I know how you feel and I’m doing all that too. And – I’ll be totally honest with you – I’ve still been feeling like I should be because you set the bar so high!
But it’s funny that you posted this because I have a post in mind that’s sort of about the same thing.
Robin @ Farewell, Stranger ‘s last awesome post..On the Move: Guest Posting at The Mommy Matters
I want to see what you’re going to write – and girl, you do way more than I do!
Isn’t this the sad truth?
The longer we blog, the more people we meet, the more blogs to follow, the more posts to read: it goes on and on.
And it’s such a ying and yang: the beauty of meeting more, new, wonderful people but that in turn becomes more time spent online.
You can’t have one without the other.
It’s a difficult thing to finally decide what to do.
You’ve thought long and hard, and those that love you will accept you on your terms, because they enjoy what you have to say, and who you are.
But, it’s sad: and beautiful, at the same time.
Alexandra ‘s last awesome post..How Do I Talk To My Body?
I know you will understand. It is sad, a little, but I look forward to the joy of being offline more