Writing, Wishing

“What? He’s rolling already? When did he start doing that?”

At 3 months, 10 days. But he only started doing it on one side!

“He’s sitting up? My baby just….lies there.”

Eh, she’s a month younger, don’t stress it.

“How is it that he’s 5 months old and he can stand?”

He’s not actually ‘standing’, he’s supported by the couch.

“Eh, he’s standing. Mine doesn’t even do the tripod sitting up thing yet.”

Don’t worry, he’ll be sitting soon. 

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I’ve been posting pictures of Scrumplet doing things that seem beyond his age.

Scrumplet, just over 5 months old, standing supported by the arm of the couch, stealing tissues.

(this picture was shared on my Facebook page – come like it for more beyond-the-blog goodness!)

No, I’m not showing off. I just want to share his chubby thighs for the world to see.

It’s also my way of documenting his baby years.

But by doing so, I’ve opened my baby up to the comparison trap.

One that I’m oh-so-familiar with, having had my first child almost the same time as at least half a dozen of my friends.

Who weaned first, who slept through the night first, who crawled first, who walked first, who said the first word first, who said Mama first.

It wasn’t a competition. It was the opposite of competition which is worse – we were comparing our children to see how far behind ours was, thus feeling awful for a) even comparing and b) felt like we weren’t doing enough for our child if he or she wasn’t on par with his or her peers.

We mothers cannot lay on the self-guilt fast enough. We always think it’s our fault. Something we didn’t do. Something we could have done more of.

I have friends and family who became first-time mothers the same time I had my second.

They’re watching my son’s development, which yes, seems advanced for his age, and they’re worrying about their own babies.

So I am here to tell you: STOP WORRYING AND COMPARING.

Every baby is different. My own two babies are different. They develop at their own pace. They will get there eventually. By the time they are 2, or 3, they all catch up eventually.

Looking at my now nearly 3 year old, no one would have guessed he took his first steps at nearly 15 months old. 3 to 4 months later than his peers.

It didn’t matter then, it most certainly doesn’t matter now.

So friends, unless it’s a worrying developmental delay, please don’t stress. Your baby will roll over, she will sit up, she will, yes, stand, and my goodness, she will be running all over the place and climbing into cupboards before you know it.

Trust me.

Have you ever fallen into the comparison trap before?